Monday, September 13, 2010

Home sick

I feel nearly delirious. I do not want to eat until I get my old job back. I am good at teaching sixth grade math. I am good at teaching enrichment math. I am not so good at planning ahead or understanding what people say when they say something I am not expecting. I have to pause and think and process and maybe even think again about it later.

Write to me if you think I have any reason not to feel totally humiliated that my job is now being done by the woman who took ever for me while I had surgery and a woman who was my assistant for a year? Neither one ever asks me what I did or what to do when...

I am dust to sweep under the carpet. Hide me away!


Insane said...

I think of your reaction to the printed "popularity" and think how so very much our self-image is based on the opinions of others and I ask myself why human nature often lead us to seek validation through others. Is it necessary that we do that? I realize we learn to do this throughout childhood and adolescence but, as adults, aren't we supposed to have formed a healthy self-image which sustains us through life? (I'm thinking of myself here and how much other people play into thoughts about myself and my life.) Even as I type this, the thought goes through my head, "You're aware of the psychology of these things so why don't you recognize and proceed accordingly through life?" It seems, for me, that regardless of what I know, I continue to follow certain patterned behavior.

Life changes. As we change, everything around us shifts. Nothing is static outside of a vacuum. I guess it depends on how we react to the change that makes life good or bad, no?

I'm sorry, Aly. I've so much going on inside my own head and heart that any attempt to empathize brings me full circle to self-analysis.

Are you able to turn off the thoughts, to ignore the "buts" and "what-ifs"? I'm repeatedly told that I think TOO much. :)

Aly V said...

I have to ask myself what am I supposed to be doing right now. The answer gets me out of my head and one foot goes in front of the other.