Cerebellar Cognitive Affective Syndrome

I read an article this weekend about CCAS, the brain injury type that is the cause of my disability. This excerpt was of particular interest. I wonder if anyone else thinks this sounds a little bit like me. Hmm...

"Following the uneventful surgery for resection of the benign mass, she was noted to have a marked personality change, becoming disinhibited, disrespectful,  and childlike. Testing using the simple tools of behavioral neurology revealed impairments in working memory, perseveration, distractibility, and lack of mental flexibility. She also showed deficits on visual spatial performance.

Over the next few months her mother recounted that the patient would report inability to make a sandwich—not knowing what to do first, and in what order. With time she improved many of her abilities, but executive functions remained impaired, and the next two decades have revealed a pattern of personal choices, psychosocial interactions and judgment that have left her requiring regular family intervention to provide support and safety.

This combination of mood and personality changes with the cognitive impairments that could be demonstrated on neuropsychological testing were the first indicators of the persistent pattern of executive, visual spatial, linguistic, and affective impairments in the remaining 19 patients that we studied prospectively over the next 6 years, and which we identified and named the CCAS."

I might have been able make a sandwich but I could not pack a bag. My first day back at school in August 2007, I was reduced to tears because I could not figure out what to do to set up my classroom. I sat crumpled on the floor crying and confused. I thought I was just tired. It wasn't until spring break that year when I tried to pack for a vacation to Cancun that I started to see a pattern. I was up all night and in the morning, I could barely close my suitcase. When we got there I found I had no t-shirts, no toothbrush, and no underwear. I did have a number of empty cosmetic cases and ziplock baggies. I also had more books and crafts than I could possibly use on a week long trip. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. Doctors still said I was probably depressed or distracted because of the brain surgery 11 months earlier. I knew "depression" was not the cause but I did not no where to turn. 

What a long and bumpy road it has been to get here but here I am. For now, I remain optimistic about what may be ahead. 

Oh BTW I can make a taco, at least a taco costume. Here is Tess dressed as a taco for Halloween:

Lily was a mummy.

Aren't they so cute? I love my girls!

My best girl was Rock Lobster:

The Yorkie Connection

Twenty years ago in my very first teaching job, I had the best mentor ever. She was a dynamo and she guided me the same way she taught. T. helped me become the teacher I am by setting a great example, letting me make mistakes, and allowing me develop my own style. When a class begins, I still say "Let me see who I can thank for being on the ball?" as I look around a group of students in varying states of readiness. Even though these are sixth graders and those were first graders, everybody wants to be noticed for the positive and they all get ready. I have so much I wish I could tell her. Today I saw a postcard she sent school with her beautiful twin boys and her two Yorkies. She has Yorkies! I can't believe it. I have her address so I think I will write to her. I came home and googled her so for now here is a link to an article about her.

T. and her school for living graciously

Thelma T. Hanawalt's business, called 'Mrs. T-s Tutorials,' offers lessons on manners and academic subjects.
Amazingly, just last year when one of our former first graders Melissa C. became my assistant because of the brain injury, I found a copy of T.'s "Signs of Civility" and hung it on my wall. I really try to be a nice person.


Here is my Yorkie Lily with me at one of my favorite places in the world , discussing my art with the rest of my class.

The Beast