Monday, May 14, 2007

Tired of being tired

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I went to a restaurant for the first time since the surgery. Unfortunately I was having a bad day, nausea mostly and by the endof the meal I was tired. I was also tired of talking. My voice is very loud inside my own head. Because my ear is all stopped up, sometimes even worse with air, I hear a kind of echo and super loud version of my own voice and breathing. I can't really hear what other people are saying so much. It is the worst on my walks in the park. It makes me want to whisper. i also can't tell how loud I am talking. My hands were shaking a lot and I had trouble putting butter on my food. Food still tastes very strange because some of my taste buds are numb.
I seem to be past the worst of the pain. Yesterday I managed with two Advil in the evening. It feels good. What is left still in pain is my ear, the incision area above my ear, my temple, jaw and the four inch long incision in my abdomen. More annoying than the pain is the stuffed up feeling in my head. My left skull is full of cotton or insulation.
I know it has been a very short time and I am recovering so well. Things could be so much worse. I can think clearly, talk, read, use all my muscles, swallow, well the list is so long. I feel guilty when I am not grateful and I really have not complained a lot. My philosophy is that everyone has good and bad and life cycles through them so I am not surprised when fortune or misfotune manifests itself in my life.
I will see the ENT surgeon tomorrow and that may be helpful in understanding the echo in my head. My hearing does not seem to be bad, just blocked.
Not a funny or entertaining entry, just a cranky complaining entry. Please don't forget about me. I still need company and people to encourage me not to feel sorry for myself and people to make me take my walks. I can answer the phone easily and walk up to a half an hour.

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