Saturday, June 6, 2009

At My 25th College Reunion

The days are blurring together. The events, conversations, meals, information, new people, old friends, and living in the same dorm are forming one giant surreal mass in my brain. I don't know who I've met or what I've said. I tried to do way too many things today.
Mechele said the great thing about the 25th reunion is that while at the other reunions you were worried about whether or not you were successful enough, or too fat, or too bald or whatever, but now at the 25th it was much easier because there is always someone who had lost a parent or a child or a breast and those other things didn't seem as important. But in that moment before she finished the sentence as I was identifying with the sentiment she was expressing, I thought she was going to say, "There is always someone fatter or balder or less successful." And it just cracked me up that I would find relief in that, sort of.
I have to admit my classmates have accomplished some amazing stuff and I still feel pretty inadequate, but I did stop thinking about my looks a few years ago and I feel pretty good about my career choice and I am super proud of my daughter and happy in my marriage. Having the brain injury also takes the pressure off me to be smart enough now. Maybe I never was as brilliant but now I am very psyched about each and every working brain cell I have. It feels pretty good just to be here.


Insane said...

I never really hung out with anyone in high school or college due to other responsiblilities so I've never really felt the urge to go back and see how people turned out. I have reunited with a few college friends outside of formal school reunions and that was pleasant and enlightening. You never know what people REALLY think about you, do you? I mean, you think you know but, when they're honest and open, you find out things you never knew. Ah well, I'm glad you've gotten to a place that only you govern and feel comfortable with. Many still compete and it doesn't matter how old they get. Your friend is so right. Age does bring some of us welcome perspective.

Have a good week, Aly.

Insane said...

So, where'd you disappear to? Hope all is well.